I really don’t know how long this has been building… 

How long I’ve been keeping all of this locked up in me.

I hate these walls. I hope they all fall.

I hope they break with every step I take. I have new decisions to make. But living with these huge walls and blocks make me live a life with no keys and just locks. 

They need to disappear, but if they do, my very huge fear will soon be alive too.

I like to be in control, it soothes my soul.

I don’t like to put myself out there for any opportunities to get burned in the process.

That’s my biggest fear, I must confess.

I may appear pretty tough, 

But my heart isn’t too buff.

It’s actually pretty weak. 

Love is what it secretly seeks.

Always trying to be very discrete

in order to not be defeated and beat.

But there’s no such thing as being safe in love. If you actually think about it, there’s no such thing as being safe. If you’re “safe”, you end up actually hurting yourself more.

Way deep down, into your very core.

Wondering “what ifs and maybes”

“Could’ves and would’ves”.

It’s a lot better doing and knowing,

rather than wondering and thinking.

So now, no more questions or doubts.

Just feelings and letting it all out.

-AMS

1. I know I have grammatical errors in here, so I’m sorry about that.

2. If you’d like to write my ideas down, you don’t need to write the whole thing. But I really would appreciate it if you credit me, considering these are MY ideas and feelings that are written down. It is my intellectual property in a way.. This is my master piece. It’s like not giving an artist credit for their painting/drawing. 

3. Please let me know if my work inspires you to to creatively do something whether it’s writing as well, drawing, music.. I’d love to see, hear or read anything that is inspired by my work.

4. I wrote this years ago and I’m still working on it. It’s a very hard thing to do!

***This picture is from my vacation from early 2014. We went on a cruise to Mexico (Baja California, basically). Photo credit to Alyssa Santana.